Kobe Bryant’s Death and The Psychological Effects of Grief

On Sunday, January 26, 2020 the world was hit with the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s death. Many news shows and social media feeds have been flooded with the discussion of his passing. Throughout the streets of L.A vigils are spread out across sidewalks. Public mourning and heartfelt words of sympathy are being echoed throughout the globe.

Nine lives were lost in a helicopter crash that included Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna. Even though most of us did not personally know Kobe, we grieve because we saw him dominate the basketball court on our TV screens for 2 decades. “This loss is very real because Kobe Bryant was a real person whom we all feel like we knew at some level,” says Tami Frye, a licensed master social worker. “He met a need for most of us by providing entertainment and by giving us joy. We pulled for him when we watched him play and we were saddened when we saw him lose. We felt in some way we were part of his life and he was part of ours. Now that part is over. An ending like this must be grieved. A loss must be grieved whether it is a personal relationship or whether it is a relationship from a distance.”

The psychological effects of grieving may trigger our brains even when it is a public figure or celebrity that we have never met. Many young black people looked up to Kobe. He was on the cover of many notebooks, posters, and even had a book series. He was a sports icon that broke so many barriers. With such an impact and love for the youth, we are still coping and going through the 4 phases of grief.

The Four Phases of Grief

Psychologist John Bowlby and British psychiatrist Colin Murray Parkes came up with this concept in the 1970s. It breaks the different levels of grief into 4 stages:

Shock and Numbness: Immediately upon hearing the news that someone we love has died, our body becomes numb. Psychologically we go through shock. This is a self-defense mechanism that helps us to survive emotionally.
Yearning and Searching: During this period a person may yearn and search for the deceased because their hearts long so much to have the void filled. Emotions felt during this time can be weeping, anger, anxiety, and confusion.
Disorganization and Despair: Feelings of apathy, despair, and hopelessness increase. Activities that once used to give the grieving one joy are no longer pleasurable. They might become withdrawn.
Reorganization and Recovery: During the last stage the person psychologically recovers to an extent and goes back to “normal”. The mind starts to dwell more on the positive memories of the deceased.

When we process grief and overcome our deep feelings of sadness, our minds can learn to cope. We become resilient. We draw inner strength to comfort those around us.

The Population Review published a study on parental loss. Its study found that 2 million children in the U.S under the age of 18 have lost a mother or father to death. Black children are more likely than other races to have a deceased parent.

You can become a better person while grieving by encouraging others to reflect on Kobe Bryant and the good that he accomplished while he was alive. Start a healthy discussion about death with your loved ones.

The best way to deal with loss is to not focus on your pain. Use your grief to help others.

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